Would it be like this over-the-top boot built to impress?
You know your resume is a loud-mouth boot if ~
- It’s a show-off, filled with big words because it’s trying to look smart.
- It claims credit for the work of the whole organization or department.
- It says, “I’m the greatest!”
OR would it be like a clown shoe?
The clown resume makes a lot of noise. It’s meant to be silly, not send a serious message.
From a resume for an HR position
Or would it be like a shaggy dog shoe?
Does it tell a long, long story that doesn’t come to a relevant point?
A shaggy-dog story that will be remembered, but not rewarded.
This resume for a membership assistant position wins the prize for best shaggy-dog story ever.
Or like a stinky, sloppy sneaker?
The sneaker resume is a mess of typos, misused words, wrongly capitalized words, mixed tenses, and misspelling – plus the formatting is awful.
Or like a nonsense-shoe which is good for laughs, but it doesn’t do what a shoe is supposed to do.
This shoe stands on anti-logic. It attempts to explain or justify one thing by stating something unrelated.
- As a Nevada native, I truly am excited about the opportunity and to work for this organization in Virginia.
- Seeking an executive assistant position to a top-level CEO that will make use of my diversified background as a religion professor.
- My diverse roles and responsibilities within the company prompt for the execution of multiple professional tasks in the workplace to uphold performance and community standards.
A strappy sandal with way too much sex appeal?
How do you know your resume is a strappy sandal?
- It has a picture of you in a sexy pose.
- It has a picture of you in a sexy pose!
Or a thick-soled rubber shoe?
It’s clunky, it’s boring, and it will never wear out, but go on forever!
It would be called a blabbermouth if it were a person.
A thick-soled rubber resume:
- Spells out every single task you ever did in excruciating detail.
- Fills up more than two pages in a small font.
- Has 37 bullets to describe a job that lasted six months.
- Answers the question: How many ways can you say the same thing?
This rubber-shoe resume doesn’t stop with responsibilities. It lists every single task:
- Responsible for front office
- Manage the front office
- Handle all receptionist duties
- Answer all phones
- Greet all Visitors in a friendly and polite manner
- Make visitors comfortable by greeting them in a friendly fashion
- Handle concerns and questions from Members
- Handle concerns in the policies and procedures manual
- Daily handle concerns not mentioned in the policies and procedures manual
- Perform ad hoc assignments
- Schedule conference room available for meetings including Management Meetings
- Sighed in all new clients to the firm
- Update database
- Add new clients information to database
- Organized travel arrangements
- Prepare New Employee Welcome Packets
- Copy and organize new employee welcome packs
- Create and manage new policies logs in a monthly basis.
- Issue and reschedule new and replacement equipment
- Possessed excellent knowledge of reading, writing, grammar, spelling, punctuation, proofreading, and formatting materials
- Provided general receptionist duties
- Maintained several personnel calendars, and event planning for over 20 conference rooms
- Develops long-term alternatives to save for selective budget accounts
- Accurately and proficiently complete research projects in database and report findings to key consulting professionals
*And on, and on for another 673 words, ending with:
- Additionally, I single-handedly coordinated ongoing tracking of travel expenses, including to England, Ireland, Italy, Germany, Costa Rica, Peru, and multiple States.
If your resume were compared to a pair of shoes, what would it say about you? For some people, it would say they spend more time picking out the shoes they will wear to an interview than writing the resume that will get them in the door. If no employer sees them, the shoes on your feet won’t matter.