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If Your Resume Were A Pair Of Shoes, Would They Put Your Best Foot Forward?

October 18, 2017 | By | No Comments

Would it be like this over-the-top boot built to impress?

Resume

resume

You know your resume is a loud-mouth boot if ~

  1. It’s a show-off, filled with big words because it’s trying to look smart.
  2. It claims credit for the work of the whole organization or department.
  3. It says, “I’m the greatest!”

OR would it be like a clown shoe? 

The clown resume makes a lot of noise. It’s meant to be silly, not send a serious message.

resume

From a resume for an HR position

resume

 

Or would it be like a shaggy dog shoe?

Does it tell a long, long story that doesn’t come to a relevant point?

 resume

A shaggy-dog story that will be remembered, but not rewarded.

This resume for a membership assistant position wins the prize for best shaggy-dog story ever.

resume

 

Or like a stinky, sloppy sneaker?

resume

The sneaker resume is a mess of typos, misused words, wrongly capitalized words, mixed tenses, and misspelling – plus the formatting is awful.

resume

Or like a nonsense-shoe which is good for laughs, but it doesn’t do what a shoe is supposed to do.

resume

This shoe stands on anti-logic. It attempts to explain or justify one thing by stating something unrelated. 

  • As a Nevada native, I truly am excited about the opportunity and to work for this organization in Virginia.
  • Seeking an executive assistant position to a top-level CEO that will make use of my diversified background as a religion professor.
  • My diverse roles and responsibilities within the company prompt for the execution of multiple professional tasks in the workplace to uphold performance and community standards.

A strappy sandal with way too much sex appeal?

resumeHow do you know your resume is a strappy sandal?

  1. It has a picture of you in a sexy pose.
  2. It has a picture of you in a sexy pose!

resume

   

Or a thick-soled rubber shoe?

It’s clunky, it’s boring, and it will never wear out, but go on forever!

It would be called a blabbermouth if it were a person. 

resume

A thick-soled rubber resume:

  • Spells out every single task you ever did in excruciating detail.
  • Fills up more than two pages in a small font.
  • Has 37 bullets to describe a job that lasted six months.
  • Answers the question: How many ways can you say the same thing?

This rubber-shoe resume doesn’t stop with responsibilities. It lists every single task:

  • Responsible for front office
  • Manage the front office
  • Handle all receptionist duties
  • Answer all phones
  • Greet all Visitors in a friendly and polite manner
  • Make visitors comfortable by greeting them in a friendly fashion
  • Handle concerns and questions from Members
  • Handle concerns in the policies and procedures manual
  • Daily handle concerns not mentioned in the policies and procedures manual
  • Perform ad hoc assignments
  • Schedule conference room available for meetings including Management Meetings
  • Sighed in all new clients to the firm
  • Update database
  • Add new clients information to database
  • Organized travel arrangements
  • Prepare New Employee Welcome Packets
  • Copy and organize new employee welcome packs
  • Create and manage new policies logs in a monthly basis.
  • Issue and reschedule new and replacement equipment
  • Possessed excellent knowledge of reading, writing, grammar, spelling, punctuation, proofreading, and formatting materials
  • Provided general receptionist duties
  • Maintained several personnel calendars, and event planning for over 20 conference rooms
  • Develops long-term alternatives to save for selective budget accounts
  • Accurately and proficiently complete research projects in database and report findings to key consulting professionals

*And on, and on for another 673 words, ending with:

  • Additionally, I single-handedly coordinated ongoing tracking of travel expenses, including to England, Ireland, Italy, Germany, Costa Rica, Peru, and multiple States.

If your resume were compared to a pair of shoes, what would it say about you? For some people, it would say they spend more time picking out the shoes they will wear to an interview than writing the resume that will get them in the door. If no employer sees them, the shoes on your feet won’t matter.

 

MORE FUNNY THINGS PEOPLE SAID IN JOB INTERVIEWS

September 27, 2017 | By | No Comments

Have you ever come out of a job interview and you’re beating yourself up because you realized you blew it by saying or doing something unbelievably dumb? You were beating yourself up because your mistake cost you an opportunity. Ease up on yourself. Remember: mistakes are only made by living people.
Three facts about life:

1. As you go through life, you constantly encounter opportunities.
2. Living people feel pressure when faced with opportunities
3. Living people find the funniest ways to buckle under the pressure and blow opportunities.

Lighten up on yourself and laugh.

You’re not alone. Here are some real mistakes other people have made in job interviews.

This candidate was trying to explain himself, but he was just digging himself into a hole, and the more he said, the deeper it got.

Interviewer: What are you looking for in your next position?
I have a lot of ambition. I want more opportunity to grow.

Interviewer: What kinds of growth opportunities are you looking for?
I want to do things on my own. I’m tired of being micromanaged. I have unlimited potential and it’s being hampered my managers.

How were they hampering you?
It was impossible. My manager kept throwing curveballs at me. The minute I’d finish one thing, she’d throw something else at me. I didn’t have time to grow because she just kept throwing curveballs.

Interviewer: Curveballs?
I mean when I finished a task, it was never enough. She expected me to jump right into a new one.

Interviewer: Did she expect overtime?
No. But there was pressure every day. She was always pressuring me to succeed.

Interviewer: Really?
Yes. I get overwhelmed when there’s too much work. Yesterday I was so overwhelmed I forgot to sign out.

 

Other things people wish they’d never said on an interview

What are your goals?

  • I want to get a puppy.
  • Do you mean business or personal?
  • Uh….

What kind of job do you want?

  • I don’t care.
  • I want advancement.
  • I just want to make a difference.
  • I don’t know… I’ve been on a lot of interviews, but nothing I was 100 % comfortable with – not something I felt I could really .. uh .. commit to and would pay me what I need.

Tell me about an accomplishment you’re proud of.

  • I have to say my children are my greatest accomplishments.
  • I hated living with roommates and wanted my own apartment. I convinced my dad to buy a condo near the school.
  • I have great organizational skills. My closet is completely organized by garment type, length, and color.

I see you’ve been in your job for six months. Why do you want to change?

  • I didn’t go to college to do menial work.
  • I have too much potential to spend my day just setting up my boss’s meetings and making sure there are pencils in the room.
  • It’s not worth my time. I have to spend my whole day answering the Senator’s mail and it’s, you know, some doddering old woman, with nothing important to do. She writes to say she wants the Senator to put a stop sign on her street – probably just to make it easier to get her dog to the park. This kind of trivia is just not worth my time.
  • I don’t. They fired me.
  • Well, actually, I just kind of thought I wanted something with less pressure.
  • I was working all day and I wasn’t going anywhere. It was a dead end and I wanted to grow, so I quit.
  • I’ve been going through a terrible divorce. I couldn’t focus at work because it was just disruption after disruption. I want to start somewhere fresh.

What were your primary responsibilities on your last job?

  • They’re on my resume. Haven’t you read it?

Do you have any questions for me?

  • Yes, Do I have to wear shoes to work?
  • What is your drug policy?
  • Can I work from home?
  • If you hire me, can I get an advance on my salary?

  • How long do I have to do this job before I can get promoted?
  • Is there any flexibility in the hours. It took me an hour to get here today and I’m not a morning person.

19 Sep

By

Lighten Up and Laugh – Even Bosses Make Mistakes

September 19, 2017 | By |

Do you beat yourself up when you make a mistake, or suffer when you blow a job interview or say the wrong thing at the wrong time?  If somebody else did it you’d probably laugh, so that’s the answer.

We put people in the position to judge us and imagine the harshest verdicts.

Bosses Make Mistakes

Lighten up, laugh, and get over it because mistakes are only made by living people – including friends, teachers, bosses, job interviewers, and any other people who we put in a position to judge us. A lot of our mistakes are funny and laughing is good.

Take the job interview, a situation where we all get uptight and stress over mistakes. Look at it from the other side. Hiring managers and executives make mistakes too – some really funny mistakes!

Imagine yourself in this picture. You have an interview for a job you really want and you’re all dressed up in your best interview suit. You hope you look more confident than you feel, which is a little like you’re going on trial. By the time you face the “judge” you’re already feeling not quite on your game, then he does something so odd that, whether or not you get the job, you’ve got a great story.

Here are four stories about managers who did the unexpected. Have a laugh at them and ease up on yourself.

 

THIS BOSS SCRATCHES WHAT ITCHES!

I had the most bizarre interview ever. I was being considered for the regional vice president of human resources position with one of the top 10 insurance corporations in the world, a multi-billion dollar company. I’d already made it through multiple interviews, and my final interview was with the number-two person in the company in their New York City headquarters.

The offices were in an iconic skyscraper in New York’s financial district. I was ushered into his huge corner office, on the 67th floor, that looked down on a spectacular view of the city. I’d been in executive offices before, but nothing I’d ever seen was as lavish as that one.

If the scene wasn’t intimidating enough, the executive vice president came in wearing a suit that had to cost seven thousand dollars, and the bearing one accustomed to power. That illusion dissolved shortly after my interview commenced.

As soon as we sat down, he took off his shoes and socks, put his feet up on his massive ebony desk, and started to massage and scratch his feet. He went on with the interview and with his foot massage, as though this was nothing strange about it. I got the job.Bosses Make Mistakes

Just one question: Did you shake hands when the interview was over?

 

SMOKE GETS IN WHOSE EYES?

I applied for a job as assistant to the director of operations in a big design firm, and I really wanted it. I met with the human resources director, who liked my background and was sending me to meet the boss. But before I met him, she warned me that his manner was gruff. I’d grown up in the coal mining region of Pennsylvania with three older brothers. I promised her I wouldn’t be thrown by him.

When I met him, I realized gruff was too mild a word. He glared at me and lit a giant cigar (this was when it was still legal to smoke in offices). Then he shot questions at me as though he wanted to scare me. “Why did you leave your job? Did they fire you?” and, “What makes you think you’re good enough to do my job?” All the while, he kept blowing his smoke directly in my face.

But I wanted this job, and I wasn’t going to let his bullying keep me from getting it. I ignored the cigar and fielded each of his questions.

Suddenly, he stabbed his cigar in the ashtray and stood up. I didn’t know what to do so I sat. “Well,” he said. “Get up!” I didn’t. “Come on. I don’t have all day. You need to know where you’ll be sitting.”

It was the best job I’ve ever had.

 

INTERVIEWER OR ENGLISH TEACHER?

I was sitting across from the human resources manager, and getting more and more uncomfortable because didn’t say a word to me or ask a question for ten minutes, that seemed like hours. She just sat there, staring at her computer screen, reading my resume. Finally she said, I see you have three letters of recommendation from your past bosses.” Then she said nothing again for another five minutes while she read them.

After she finished reading all of the documents, she looked up and said, “The formatting is terrible! The margins are all out of line.” As she said it, she typed, cut and pasted, then peered at her work, and typed more.

I wanted to sink into the chair, thinking the was reformatting my resume. But I was wrong. She wasn’t redoing my resume, but the references that were written by my past bosses.

Once she finished editing my references, the interview was pretty much over.

 

DRESS FOR SUCCESS

My interview was with the Chief of Staff to the CEO of a big association. The first thing he said to me when I came into his office was, “I’m running late and can’t sit. I have to get ready for my next business meeting. I thought he meant I had to leave, but as he walked across the room, he started talking about how important the job was and asking questions about my background. So I just went with the conversation.

Then he opened the door to a closet, took out an ironing board, set it up, took out a shirt and pants, and ironed his clothes while he interviewed me.

Bosses Make Mistakes

 

I thought the interview was weird but fun, and I got the job.

 

06 Sep

By

“What was I thinking?” 20 Funny Things People Said In Interviews

September 6, 2017 | By |

My business is staffing the professional offices in Washington D.C., and I love my job! I love it because it’s all about people, and people are fascinating and funny, especially when they are under pressure or trying to make an impression, such as when they are interviewing for jobs.

Interviewing thousands of candidates over the course of my career was like working in the middle of an improv theater, with the players constantly changing. When the candidate and interviewer meet in an interview, the show starts. You never know what they will say, or do, or what twists and turns the plot will take.

It starts when the interviewer asks a question.
Some of the most common questions are:

Tell me a little about yourself.
What about our position interests you?
Tell me about your experience.
What are your strengths?
Can we get a reference from your employer?

The candidate’s answers can lead interviews into surprising places, and sometimes they lead into dangerous, outrageous, and funny territories. Employers get answers to questions they didn’t ask and don’t want to know the answers to.

Here are some actual answers given by candidates when asked these questions:
Tell me a little about yourself.

• Well, [breathy pause] men find me attractive.
interviews
• I’m a Christian and my father is gay.
• I’m the person you’re looking for.
• I have three children in college.
• I was a debutant.
interviews

• I could have married a Saudi prince, but I wanted a career.
• I’m a kick-ass administrative assistant and advance guy with a knack for  scheduling and making it happen. The big boys love me!

What about our position interests you?

• As a Nevada native, I am truly excited about the opportunity and to work for your organization in Virginia.
• I believe being the executive assistant to your CEO will make use of my diversified background as a religion professor and instructor in music appreciation.
• I’m a single mother with three children and you are only 15 minutes from my home so I can get home quickly if one of my children needs me.
• I don’t know anything about the position. My dad said I should apply.

interviews

Tell me about your experience.

• My diverse roles and responsibilities within the company prompt for the execution of multiple professional tasks in the workplace to uphold performance and community standards.
• I’ve been part of a team trained to combine the deepest analytics and most targeted strategies to produce highest results.
• My work history reflects the magnitude of my experience.

What are your strengths?

• With my degree (in sociology) I’m ready and able to step into a leadership position with ease.
• I’m able to assist with top-level responsibilities due to assertiveness

Can we get references from your employers?

• Sure. You can call my boss. He’d better give me a good reference. I’m sleeping with him.interviews

 

 

09 Aug

By

3 Bad Boss Stories That Will Make You Cringe – and Laugh

August 9, 2017 | By |

SO YOU THINK YOUR BOSS IS BAD! 3 BAD BOSSES WHO ARE WORSE

Not long after I started my career in staffing, I learned that there are some really bad bosses out there who do strange, mean, and bizarre things. Here are the Church-Boss, the Cold-Hearted Boss, and the Lunch-Bandit Boss

 

THE CHURCH-BOSS

bad boss

One was a 70-something owner of a commercial real estate firm. He enlisted our staffing agency to find an executive assistant for him, and he was clear about his expectations.

“I am looking for a decent woman with high moral standards!”

He interviewed candidate after candidate, and found something wrong with each one.

No one met his moral standards.

She was too loud.

She wore too much makeup.

Her dress was immodest.

 

We didn’t give up, and finally, we found a woman who he had to approve, a sweet lady with salt-and-pepper hair, and a go-to-church-conservative suit. She had worked for a highly respected appellate judge and church elder for twenty-five years, until he retired. She passed every white-glove test for respectability that we could think of.

bad boss

When she went off to meet the businessman, we were certain he would be calling to thank us for doing such an excellent job. No call came, but the woman did. When she arrived back in our office, her face was drained of color except for her eyes, that were red from crying.

We gave her a glass of water and asked what happened.

“I don’t know. It started all right. I gave him the copy of my typing test and told him about my experience. He said he had known the judge I worked for and respected him. Then…I don’t understand what happened.” She was wringing her floral handkerchief.

“What did he do?”

“He stood up and said I was a waste of his time. He said he wanted a woman with high morals and he would never hire a such a woman as me. I was shocked. I couldn’t think of what to say. The interview seemed to be over, so I left. I don’t know what made him say that.”

We called the businessman, who was irate that we had sent her. We asked why.

He said, “You should have been able to see that she doesn’t have the high morals I want just looking at her knees. They are not black and blue from being on the floor in prayer!”

 

THE COLD-HEARTED BOSS

bad boss

Lynn’s boss yelled at her from his office. “Drop what you’re doing and come in here and bring your steno pad.”

She grabbed the pad and a pencil, and came running, but she tripped, banged into his large, glass coffee table, and fell to the floor.

He ignored the accident, and went on as though nothing had happened. “As I lay there, holding my leg in pain, he didn’t ask if I was hurt. He just looked annoyed at the interruption and told me to take down a list of things he needed don’t today.”

“Get this package overnighted to John Thomas. He’s in the rolodex. My wife and I may want to go to Vail for the holidays. Check out the flights, and call Martin at the inn to reserve a suite. Pick up my shirts from the concierge. Cancel my meeting with….”

 

THE LUNCH-BANDIT BOSS.

bad boss

The receptionist came to HR with a complaint. “I brought my lunch in a brown bag and put it in the refrigerator. When I sat down for lunch and opened it, I found out someone else had opened it, taken two bites, and wrapped it back up.” The next day another assistant came in and said someone had opened her salad, eaten the carrots and croutons off the top and resealed the container.

Nobody had seen who did it, so the HR manager started popping into the kitchen at random times, but she still didn’t catch the person. He was finally caught in the act by the executive assistant, as he was rewrapping her half-eaten sandwich. The culprit was the executive vice president of operations.

The last thing the HR manager wanted to do was confront the EVP who was her boss. But she bit the bullet and asked him to meet with her in her office.

When he came in, she approached the subject as diplomatically as she could.

HR: “Jack, thanks for coming in. The reason for the meeting… well, Jack, you see, something has come to my attention … well, some of the staff have complained that someone has been eating their food.”

EVP (with a look that said she was wasting his time with nonsense): “I don’t know why you’re bringing this to me.”

HR: “Actually, someone on the administrative staff saw you in the kitchen, biting, then rewrapping a sandwich.”

EVP: “That’s ridiculous! I never did such a thing! She probably saw me having part of my own sandwich.”

HR “Jack, are you sure it was your sandwich? Because she says it was her sandwich.”

EVP: “Then I must have taken it by accident.”

HR: “I can see how you could make that kind of mistake. But, Jack, this has been an ongoing complaint by the staff.”

EVP: “Then just put up a sign in the lunchroom telling people not to eat other people’s lunches.”

Have you become accident prone lately?”

01 Aug

By

Business Development Is About Connecting With People

August 1, 2017 | By |

Eric Postow had already experienced a lot of professional success before beginning his career as business developer with Ruthi Postow Staffing. He is a former officer in the United States Marine Corps and held various leadership assignments including recruiting operations officer. He graduated from the University of Richmond School of Law and is licensed to practice law as an active member of the Virginia State Bar. Rather than accept a position in a law firm, he made the decision to join Ruthi Postow Staffing.

INTERVIEW WITH ERIC
With all of the options you had, what was important to you that made you choose staffing as your career?

I like being in the game. I like being the advisor, listening to problems and coming up with logical solutions that benefit multiple parties. I also like being in the middle of negotiations and getting people to think about a problem from different angles.

A lot of the skills I learned in law school, I use here every day, listening and interpreting problems to find solutions, counseling and advising clients, and negotiating the selection process with them. I like becoming the subject-matter expert for my clients and seeing that they appreciate what I have to add.

What do you enjoy about being a business developer?

I like getting to know people at a deeper level – the part that comes after, “Hey, I’m Eric. You’re Jack.” I get into conversations and learn about the person. Creating a more in-depth relationship is personally and intellectually challenging.

But my job is much more than just finding and developing business. I like the consultative and intellectual process. It’s a negotiation involving asking the right questions to elicit what the client needs, and really listening so I can understand and help them understand how to get their needs met in this the job market.

Cutting through jargon is a large part of getting to what’s real. It feels great when I’m able to work with my client to prune an unwieldy job description into one that clearly identifies their essential needs. My goal is to help the client make it easier for me to get the job done right for them.

I have always thrived on having a clear purpose. My purpose is to develop one client at a time and prove to that client that I can be an asset to their company and a solution to their problems.

What skills did you bring that have helped you succeed?

My skills, developed as an attorney, are valuable in parsing information, negotiating deals, and counseling clients. Evaluating talent is another skill I have developed over many years. I developed an eye for talent by focusing on the core things that will make a candidate successful.

Along with skills, I look at the intangibles, and the character traits that make a person unique and determine whether those traits match with a certain role.

I evaluate communication style in order to determine whether a candidate and an employer will be able to communicate effectively together. It’s more than just a question of, does the candidate have the skills and experience. It’s a question of, can the candidate explain the experience and connect it to the next set of responsibilities.

You said staffing is intellectually challenging. How?

Business development is about connecting with people. To do that, I have to get them to take the time to talk to me. That presents the challenge to figure out what they are interested in, what they want to talk about.

People have varied interests. You build relationships by linking to those interests. With one person, I may connect over sports. With another, family, or hiking, or philosophy. The diversity in people keeps it interesting. Of course there are some people who are strictly business. They want straight forward conversations about who they are, what they need, and how I can provide it. I have to get that quickly or I lose them. I love the challenge of figuring out people.

Once I have a client, the real challenge starts, the consultations, negotiations, and management of the entire process to reach a solution that works for multiple people.

What have you discovered about yourself?

When you’re talking to so many different kinds of people, you get to demonstrate, and even discover, the different layers of yourself. I like that. Relating to the widest spectrum of people is essential and I have found I can relate to just about anybody.

I like putting myself on the line. This is a service sales business and the only thing I have to sell is me, my talent, my intellect, my integrity, and my willingness to hear people.

20 Jul

By

12 Jul

By

6 Facts About HR People, Your Resume, And How To Get That Interview

July 12, 2017 | By |

1. Human resources managers are inundated with resumes and 95% of them have nothing in common with her carefully written job description.

resume

2. The first thing the HR manager does after opening your resume, is quickly run through a mental checklist of maybe three or four items to see if he or she wants to read your resume. The first two things on lists are format and grammar. If those are okay, they check education, tenure, and job titles to see if they match the role.

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13 Jun

By

8 Reasons Why The HR Department Won’t Hire You

June 13, 2017 | By |

Going on a job interview?    Nervous?    Want to make a good impression?  Then here are some of the things you should avoid. Below are 8 Reasons Why The HR Department Won’t Hire You:

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06 Jun

By

What Story Does Your Resumé Paint?

June 6, 2017 | By |

Think of your resume as painting pictures. If you imagine your resume unfolding your story as a mini graphic novel, what story does it paint?

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